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Lessons from within

 

Is Being Selfless Making You Mad?

There’s a kind of quiet rage that builds from over-giving.
A simmering undercurrent we’re taught to suppress — especially if we pride ourselves on being “selfless,” “caring,” or “good.”

But the truth is:
Sometimes selflessness doesn’t feel noble.
Sometimes it feels... angry.

What Is Your Resentment Trying to Tell You?

Resentment isn’t shameful.
It’s sacred.
It’s your system saying: Something isn’t working.

Ask yourself:
What need did I ignore to be seen as generous?
What expectation did I pretend I didn’t have?

You may have believed your giving was unconditional.
But if you’re keeping score, if you feel invisible, if you're quietly stewing…
There were strings — even if they were unspoken.

Selflessness is not the same as love.
And resentment is often the evidence that we expected something — even if we told ourselves we didn’t.

Giving From Emptiness vs. Giving From Wholeness

When you give from depletion — from guilt, fear, or a deep belief that you should — that giving isn’t generosity.
It’s a quiet transaction.
It’s giving with strings attached: validation, safety, reciprocation.

That kind of giving leads to bitterness.
It exhausts your nervous system.
It chips away at trust.

But giving from wholeness — from clarity, presence, and choice — feels completely different.
It’s generous.
It’s sustainable.
It’s clean.

Where Self-Care Comes In

Self-care isn’t selfish.
It’s what makes generosity sustainable.

It helps you ask:

  • Am I giving from guilt, or from love?

  • Do I have anything left to give right now?

  • What’s the cost of this “yes”?

Self-care reminds you that your needs matter — not just your service.

You’re Allowed to Need Something Back

You are not more lovable because you erase yourself.
You are not more worthy because you say yes to everything.
And your anger? It’s not weakness.

It’s wisdom.

If you’re exhausted, resentful, or quietly furious…
That’s not a flaw.
That’s a boundary finally trying to speak.

Love doesn’t require self-erasure. Generosity doesn’t require self-sacrifice.

It’s time to give from fullness — not performance.
From love — not depletion.
From truth — not guilt.

You deserve to be one of the people you care for.

📘 Inspired by Prioritize Your Self-Care: Reclaiming Your Path to an Extraordinary Life
💬 Book a free self-care coaching session

🌀 Read more or get the book

Susan GainesComment